Your Tasks Only Behave as Fluids If You Let Them
I’ll let you in on a secret: you are in charge of how you spend your time.
Have you ever noticed that tasks tend to always take exactly as long as you have? When pressed against a deadline, you might be able to finish a project in an hour. But if you aren’t, it takes three — or even a whole day.
It’s easy to think of tasks as fluids: they fill the space you give them. Pour milk into a glass; it stays put. Pour it onto the counter…well, it’s a mess.
Tasks behave this way because we allow them to. And it’s usually because we are too afraid of what we would do with that blank (counter) space if we could only create it. No one ever seems to have free time because — what would you do with it? No one else has free time, why should I?
To be honest, I am still grappling with this question myself. But I do now understand the framework behind why we do this to ourselves (and yes, we do this to ourselves…it’s not your boss or your kids or anything else) and therefore, how to fight back. Mark Silverman’s Only 10s is an excellent resource for learning how to do this effectively.
In my head, this system works like the milk glass. At first, it might feel limiting, but then you realize you have a lot more counter space and a clean, blank area to work. It’s scary, much like staring at the blank page before you write a story, but in that empty space is creativity — and joy!
Mark’s system for decluttering and condensing the drudgery of daily tasks is to constantly ask three questions:
- Does it have to be done today?
- Does it have to be done by me?
- Does it have to be done today by me?
And for those things that are responsibilities — parenting, work, relationships — where it feels there is no ‘choice’ about whether to take them on? Your choice is based on whether or not your relationship with that person is worth it. Even cleaning the bathroom is worth it for the right people.
So what does this mean for your tasks?
You choose how you spend your time. You can decide whether or not something is important or exciting enough to merit cutting away at your precious free time. And you don’t have to see free time as fillable.
See free time as that clean smooth counter. What could you make there if it weren’t covered in random bits and bobs?
It might take some time to figure out what you would rather do with that time before you are even able to deliberately prioritize it.
A quick exercise that can help? Build an hour of totally empty time into a high energy part of your day. Not in the evening when you are drained from work (at least for me, the morning person). Fill that time with whatever you feel like doing at the time. Anything at all: writing, cooking, listening to podcasts, running, practicing handstands, staring at the ceiling — it can change every time.
Test for a month. It’s a pretty low-risk test, if you are able to take the time. If your work is very rigid (even while working from home), try it on a weekend. Maybe you’ll find a project or hobby that you really really love. Enough to make you stop working on time and set deadlines for yourself that you keep. It can be hard to hit internal deadlines, but when you realize the possibilities of fighting for your free time, it’s hard to go back.
